If you take to heart the following life lessons, then it’s much more. It really is the ticket to creating your life the way you want it to be. A life where you’re proud of who you are and what you do, so that your communications in all areas of your life reflect and resonate that. I guess that’s what people are calling “an authentic life.”
So, here are the lessons I’ve learned that I apply to my life. Some I’ve known for years, some I’ve learned just recently, because I am still learning. I guess we can make that lesson #1: Be a life long learner.
These are not in any specific order of priority. They’re all equally important, to me. YOU get to decide for yourself, and add to this list for yourself. Please share with me in the comments, what “rules” do you live by that have made the difference?
#1. Be a life long learner. Once you start saying to yourself, “oh, I already know that,” you’ve shut down your mind’s natural learning processes. Always come to every interaction, every class, every meeting, with an ear for what nugget you can pick up that will make your life better.
#2. Don’t wish it was easier; wish you were better. I learned this one recently, from Jim Rohn. He’s gone now, but you can find his wisdom out on YouTube. He was a mentor to Tony Robbins. Why is this one important? It stops you from running from growth experiences. It reminds you that the people who make it look easy have spent years learning and growing and challenging themselves to ever higher levels of discipline and skill. What you’re seeing is a result of that process. There are no shortcuts.
#3. Life is a school; take the learnings from the past and let the rest go. While I’ve known this with different words before, this way of putting it really resonated with me. Credit to this one to my friend, Dr. Al Barrios, inventor of the SPC program and the Stress Card.
#4. Your strength lies behind your fear. Credit for this one goes to my friend Dr. Paul Scheele, of Learning Strategies Corporation. He tells a beautiful story (a lovely metaphor) for this in my radio interview with him. You can find that out on YouTube. Why is this important? Because it gives you the extra oomph needed to move through your fear with the promise that there is a gift for you once you move through it. And it’s held true for me every time.
#5. Five is a tenet of NLP, but with my twist. The NLP tenet says, there’s no such thing as failure, only feedback. Which is of course, related to #3. I would change that a bit. There IS such a thing as failure. Failure is not taking the learnings; not accepting or using the feedback. Failure is continuing to make the same mistakes throughout life. Success isn’t having a mistake-free life, as many perfectionists believe. Success is making new and different mistakes throughout life, because that says you’re trying new things, actively seeking to change the outcomes you get. And research has proven that successful people have made more mistakes in their lives than the average, play-it-safe Joe. As Robin Williams’ character said in Dead Poets Society, “make your lives extraordinary.” Take risks, make mistakes, grow.
#6. You have done exactly the right things to get the results you have right now. Another tenet of NLP. This is not meant to make you feel bad for your decisions up until today; quite to the contrary, if you understand this deeply, you’ll see its power. YOU can change what you do, and when you do that your outcomes/results WILL change. Guaranteed. Don’t like the life you’re leading? Do something different. Do it with wisdom, though, don’t just jump. Model the success of others; put your own spin on a proven wheel.
#7. It takes a village. To raise a child, and to fulfill your potential as an adult. When I first started this business I thought, as so many entrepreneurs do, that this is something you do alone. That you alone are responsible for all the tasks, decisions, and the degree of success you achieve. I’m glad I unlearned that quickly, taking on my first business coach my second year in business (doubled my revenue that year), and taking on a practice partner, Jody Kimmell, in my 4th year. Every business coach I have, every new joint venture that I partake in, I get so much out of I can’t even describe it. It brings out the best in me in ways I could never do alone.
#8. Walk your talk. Someone once asked me if I practice hypnosis (self hypnosis, I think they meant). Of course I do. I would be very concerned about a hypnotherapist who doesn’t practice self hypnosis and get sessions from others from time to time as well. Or an NLP practitioner who didn’t live their life by the tenets of NLP. When I got divorced from my first husband, (the “was-band”), I saw a counselor for a time. I asked her how I would ever learn to trust someone again. She told me something that has stuck with me all these years. “Look for congruence.” Do they do what they say they’ll do? I like congruent people. They’re comfortable with themselves, easy to be with, and trustworthy. I suspect they sleep well at night. I know I do!
#9. Move through your challenges and grow because of who you will become. Another nod to Jim Rohn for this one. Don’t do the hard work ONLY to complete the project, or land the client, pass the class, or make the million bucks or whatever the goal is. Even more important than achieving the goal is who YOU will become, the character that you will build, the skills that can never be taken away from you, the relationships you will build, as a result of meeting the challenges to achieve the goal. Did you know that many millionaires have lost their fortunes multiple times. And each time, getting the fortune BACK becomes easier and easier, they say. Why? Because they have been there; they have gained the skills and the mental disciplines and they know the path. Because of who they became as a result of what they learned when they were struggling. Who you become, what you learn, the skills you acquire, the relationships you build–that’s true wealth, because nobody can take those things away from you.
#10. And props go to my Pop for this one. When I was about 11, he said, “Never tell yourself no; do not start at no. Proceed as though the answer is yes. You MAY find out that the world tells you the answer is no, or that the answer is something else. But NEVER start out by telling YOURSELF no.” There you have it. That dream you have welling up inside you, bursting to come forth into this world? Permission to move forward: Granted!
#11. My newest, since I am always learning: Learn SPC. That’s Self Programming Control. Believe me, I thought I had the mental discipline thing down, but this program has taken me to a new level of feeling in control, of directing my thoughts and feelings, than I have had before. Thanks to Dr. Barrios, Jody and I are both practitioners and master trainers now for the SPC program, and we’re excited to share this with our clients and other practitioners. I’ll be getting a web page up on this program soon and share more with you so that you can also learn this deeper level of mental control and life control!
That’s it for today! Tomorrow I am off on a plane for Florida to present at the International Medical & Dental Hypnotherapy Association’s annual conference. I’ll post some pictures of the beach while I’m there!
OK, I will add to this in future posts and when I do, I’ll place links to the follow-up posts here. In the meantime, please use the comments section to tell me about the life philosophies that have served you well!